Now and Future

Recently I had made a decision for myself.. and also for future..  Thinking doesn't work at all, all we need to do is action.. I suppose to done it on last week, but somewhere I didn't.. I was worried, currently things keep changing before my plan works well.. and I had no idea how to action my plan as well.. 

I'm so tired of making decision for future, I felt so lost currently.. I don't know what to do seriously.. I had a target plan for next year but I'm not sure it will success or not.. it makes me so headache.. My mom keep nagging me here and that and I seriously hate it.. I lost so many freedom on my teenager life and now I would like to fulfill my freedom before get into complicated stupid life.. I'm seriously tired now.. I know I bad on studying and may not clever as they do.. 

I don't know what to say.. everything I wrote and erase again, not because of privacy, it because.. even I complaint as much as I do, the reality won't change anything.. and you won't understand my mind at all..

and I really want to have a vacation on beach and winter countries seriously.. it seem so much fun.. is that possible to taste some food on Paris or Italy as well?? Drawing these picture making me like flying there as well.. :)